Giving Ourselves Some Grace

As someone with anxiety and depression, I know how difficult it is to cope with quarantine; it’s a drastic shift from attending school daily and seeing friends to a life of monotony cooped up in the home. Not only that, but the fear of disease and the unknowns about the future can be crippling, paralyzing even, during these difficult times. Due to the lack of stimuli in comparison to what I’m accustomed to during the school year, it has been easy for my mind to wander places better left hidden in the past. One matter in particular that I’ve revisited is past mistakes and behavior and in doing so, I’ve uncovered newfound criticisms of myself that only lead to trouble.

I’m not going to lie – it can be incredibly tempting to wallow in this pain and shame for my past actions and decisions. However, a memory came to mind to combat these dark thoughts that I think could be a great comfort and important message to many.

A few months ago, I was shredding papers and organizing documents at my father’s workplace when I took a break to converse with my aunt, who also works there. I was telling her about my fear of never being good enough or of always making mistakes when she said something that has stuck with me ever since – “You give grace to others when they mess up, right? So, it’s time you give some grace to yourself, allow yourself to make mistakes and learn from it, but don’t dwell on it forever.”

I reminded myself of this today, actually, upon the realization that I was beating myself up over an error I’ve recently made. I’ve had to realize that it’s a part of the human condition that we blunder and falter in our steps – it’s an undeniable part of life. However, another part of the human condition is living on after we err and changing our ways in accordance with what we’ve learned from our mistakes. After all, that’s why God gave us the atonement. He wants us to progress, rather than remain grounded in the past, and live with Him someday as perfected beings. Pain is all a part of the journey and once we repent and reconcile with Him, we can be truly happy. Our mistakes don’t define us, only what we choose to do after the fact does.

The lesson to learn in all of this is, of course, to offer ourselves some grace. We shouldn’t condemn ourselves to live miserably forever, all because of one misstep. Rather, we should seek true happiness and forgiveness in Christ, as He can bring us peace even in the deepest internal and external turmoil.

The Book of Mormon

Through my journey in expanding my testimony and learning more about the gospel, I have found that one of the crucial ways in which I can draw nearer to Christ is through the scriptures. Consequently, it is of the utmost importance to read the Book of Mormon and ponder on the principles within this holy book of scriptures in my own life. Although some people doubt the legitimacy of the Book of Mormon, it is one of the most influential works of literature in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints; the book accounts for Jesus’ resurrection and describes His time spent in the Americas after He rose from the dead; in short, it is another testament of the power and good works of God, an addition to the truths found in the Bible. I have always believed the Book of Mormon to be true, but it was not until I read the Spanish version that I developed a deep appreciation for my religion.

This past Christmas, my mother gave me three version of the Book of Mormon: Spanish, Arabic, and Dutch. I love learning languages, so I was eager to begin my journey in reading the scriptures in a language other than English. I decided to start with Spanish, and how thankful I am that I did! Despite being the same account of Christ as the English translation, I gained a newfound appreciation for the gospel. Not only that, but I have come closer to God than I ever was before. It is a great thing to have Christ in my life. After my experiences with sexual assault and mental illness, I have this persistent yearning in my heart for comfort and support; the Book of Mormon provides just what I need and allows me to feel the Holy Spirit when I feel lost. We all feel downtrodden and utterly alone at some point in our lives–that is why we can talk to Christ through prayer and feel His love through scriptures. He knows that we can endure the pain, whether it be physical, mental , or spiritual harm that we are experiencing. One of the things that encourages me to keep going is the scripture Mosiah 26:21 in the Book of Mormon, in which He says: Y el que quiera oir mi voz sera mi oveja; y lo recibiras en la iglesia, y yo tambien lo recibire.” In other words, “And he that will hear my voice will be my sheep; and him shall ye receive into the church, and him will I also receive.” It is crucial to remember that no matter how you have sinned, God will always love you and is always there to embrace you and help you when you need Him most. That is probably the most important lesson that I have learned from reading the Book of Mormon.

My Purpose

Thanks for joining me! My name is Madison and I am currently a high school student in California. As a survivor of sexual assault and mental illness, I am an avid advocate for the recovery of all of those struggling with similar issues. I hope that by sharing my experiences, I can inspire people to speak up for themselves. Not only that, but I strive to give comfort to anybody that is having difficulty coping with any tribulation in life. It is imperative that each one of us is the change we want to see in society, from breaking down the stigma surrounding mental illness to speaking up in cases of assault, abuse, and rape. Finally, I believe that my faith in God and journey with religion will be a great motivating factor in creating a positive environment that people across the globe can feel connected to and hopefully spread that kindness and compassion in the real world. After all that I have experienced, I have realized that a blog is just what I needed during the most trying times in my life–it is a place to find safety, solace, and love in, and I hope that my blog will provide that same comfort for all you.

xoxo,

Madison